Sign 15

EPOV
Just got off the plane! You guys here? xo – B.
You bet. We're both very eager to see you – E.
Don't really care about sounding casual right anymore. These past five days have been fucked up. Horrible and awful, you name it. I probably don't have much time with her left, anyway, so I'm going all out until she dumps my sorry ass.
Aside from the misery Jazz and Katie are going through, not much has happened. I've kept myself busy with either work, or hanging out with my girl.
Now I just need my other girl and I'm fucking perfect.
Not my girl?
Fucking sue me.
I'm pretending.
I smiled then as I heard Emma humming.
We were standing in the waiting lounge at Newark, and she was hugging my leg while I dragged my fingers through her curls. I suppose that's another thing she's gotten from me, 'cause God knows I've been purring like a goddamn cat when Bella does it to me.
*When, Daddy?*
Yes, she's eager, too.
"Very soon, Princess," I said, winking to her.
Holding her arms up for me, I complied instantly and picked her up.
"I love you," I mouthed.
"I love you, Daddy," she mouthed back, nuzzling our noses together before she – of course – pressed my cheeks together to make those funny faces.
I can quite easily live on her giggles. No doubt about that.
*What are we doing today, Daddy?*
I chuckled and gave her a pointed look, because she knew very well that I had no idea what we were doing. It was all Bella. She had insisted on planning our day with Emma, and I had told Emma a million times when she'd ask. I don't know, Princess. Over and over.
There was a throat-clearing then, and I looked in the direction of it… Goddamnit, nearly passed out when I saw her there. Just looked at her.
Emma hadn't seen her yet.
But I had.
She stood there, with Alice, holding her luggage… eyes glassy.
Timid smile. Biting down on her lip.
I love you.
Stay. Please.
Fuck, I'd missed her.
Nuzzling Emma's cheek to get her attention, I then nodded to her in Bella's direction.
Then I watched as Emma – after squirming her way down – ran over to launch at Bella. Giggling and squealing, most likely suffocating Bella with hugs and kisses. But that's not what forced me to avert my eyes to the floor. It was the unshed tears in Bella's eyes falling over as she hugged Emma right back. Soon, they were both on the ground, still hugging.
I heard her sniffling.
Couldn't watch it.
It was just… too much.
"Hey, Edward," I heard a voice say quietly. A voice of distraction.
Looking up from the floor, I plastered a smile on my face.
"Hello, Alice. How was your Thanksgiving?" I asked politely.
Cocking an eyebrow at me, she actually huffed. "Like a slow fucking death, as I'm sure yours was, too."
This was the second time I'd met Alice.
Second.
I suppose politeness is no longer necessary.
But hey, she's right on the money. Why deny it?
"You have a way with words," I replied with a nod.
"Mmhmm, that's what I thought," she said cryptically.
I looked down again, 'cause I sorta understood what she meant. Bella's obviously told her about my feelings.
Then, quietly, she asked, "How's Jasper?"
Of course she knows.
I sighed. "Not very good. He took Katie and went to his parents in Houston for a few days."
We didn't speak again.
After a while, Bella came over, carrying Emma on her hip.
I didn't hesitate to wrap them both in a hug, and it was like sweet reunion to feel her, to touch her, to smell her.
Stay.
"You okay?" she asked.
Yeah, she's probably wondering why I'm still hugging her.
But I'm still pretending she's mine.
"I am now."
Yes, those words flew out of my mouth.
She tensed, I grimaced internally.
"Sorry," I mumbled, releasing her. "S'just been a fucked up few days."
She nodded as set Emma down on the ground. "Yeah, I heard about Jasper. That's awful. Can't fucking believe she left like that."
And of course this is why Bella thinks my holiday's been horrible.
Desperate to change the topic, I quickly came up with a safe subject.
"What's on the agenda today? Emma's been a bit… persistent, in finding out." I grinned. Forced grin.
With a bright smile, she said, "We are going to the aquarium."
A family outing. How wonderful.
Well, pretending won't really be hard, now will it?

*O*O*O*

"Something wrong?" I asked, noticing Bella's thoughtful expression.
We had spent the past two hours watching animals and a few exhibits, and Emma had been bouncing off the walls with excitement ever since we arrived at the aquarium, but now it was time to get something to eat. So, we were sitting in one of the restaurants, and I was glad to see Emma distracted by her pizza and the coloring book and crayons she'd been given, because man, oh man, she's a handful when she's excited.
"Oh, um, no," Bella replied, seemingly snapping out of her reverie. "I was just thinking about my recital the day after tomorrow."
I smiled, remembering how she had proudly told me that she was one of the five students in her class, chosen to perform at the annual November Ballad that Juilliard hosts.
"Excited?" I asked, excited myself since she'd asked me a few weeks ago to come see her, and there was not a chance in hell I was missing that. I'd even taken off from work and arranged for Emma to be with Rose and Em.
"Yeah, it's gonna be fun," she replied, but then she seemed to hesitate, glancing at me before averting her eyes again.
"Tell me," I murmured, giving her a small but knowing smile.
She sighed then, and… blushed.
"Um yea… so, you- I mean, do you remember-" She stopped there, cursed under her breath and I was as confused as ever as I watched her blush harder and harder.
Then she just blurted it out. "You're coming, right?"
Does-… I mean, doesn't she want-… uh, what?
"Yes?" I replied warily. "I mean, that's the plan."
"Oh," was her reply, but then she sorta smiled. Hugely. Like, in relief.
That's good, right?
"Unless you don't-" I started to say, but she cut me off.
"I do. I was just wondering, 'cause maybe you forgot. I mean, it was a while ago I told you," she rambled, blushing again, and this time, I didn't care – I took her hand that was on the table.
"I wouldn't miss it, Bella."

*O*O*O*

Later that night, I allowed myself to keep pretending as we were in the bathtub together.
The day had been long and filled with nothing but fun, and it was easy to pretend with Bella and Emma. They both loved each other completely, and I stayed quiet, just watching them laugh and goof around. And now, as she's sitting between my legs in the hot water, humming as I kiss her neck, it's still easy to pretend that she's mine, that we're both parents, tired after a day with our girl.
I love you.
My hands roamed her flawless body, slowly and sensually, memorizing her. My mouth was on her skin, my tongue tasting her, my teeth nipping slightly, making her moan quietly. She was my everything in this moment. She was mine, and as I trailed down, caressing her stomach, I pictured our future. Perhaps another child. It hurt to think about it, and I knew I was being an idiot, setting myself up for heartbreak, but I couldn't stop the images. The images of having a family with her, of being a family with her.
She would open her community center.
I love you.
I need you.
I sighed, closing my eyes tightly as my hand trailed down further, reaching her bare pussy, and teasingly, I fingered her, thinking I could live off the sounds she made. Lazily and gently, my middle finger entered her as my thumb rubbed circles on her clit, and my other hand found her breast. It made me swallow hard to feel such perfection, and I was harder than steel behind her, but was that weird? It had been five days. five long days without her. Five days of misery, and this, this wasn't just what my body wanted. It was what my entire being needed.
"Oh, Edward," she breathed, tilting her face up to kiss my throat.
"I love your body, baby," I whispered, claiming her mouth with mine in a passionate kiss as I continued using my fingers on her. First slowly and gently, then I dipped a second finger inside of her, making her moan into our kiss, and I deepened it, thrusting my tongue inside her mouth.
"Please, Edward," she whimpered, breaking our kiss. "I need you."
God, yes.
Turning around, she straddled me and kissed me hard as she positioned my cock at her entrance, and we swallowed each others moans when she lowered herself until I was completely engulfed by her. Hips meeting hips. Mouth on mouth, kissing harder and harder. Her hands tugging on my hair, my hands cupping her ass.
I groaned as she rolled her hips, and I breathed heavily, feeling her clench down on me, and then she – slowly but surely – moved on top of me. Kissing me everywhere, Bella controlled the movements, and it was more than I had ever felt before. Her tongue tasting my skin, hands in my hair, her breast moving, slick from the water, against my chest as she… I couldn't say she fucked me, because this was… something else. This was more. Was it more for her, too?
"I love your body, too," she whispered then, nibbling on the skin below my ear, and I found myself tightening my hold on her, needing more. All of her.
"Bella," I moaned quietly, meeting her thrusts as I moved one hand towards her clit. "God, Bella… you feel so fucking perfect, baby."
My eyes were closed and our mouths connected again, once again passionately, our tongues caressing, stroking, savoring, tasting, and we moved together in the water persistently, slowly, deliberately.
My orgasm was approaching quickly, and I felt her, too, tighten and tremble, holding me closer, breathing heavier.
"I… I missed you," she whimpered then, and my breathing hitched as her words registered. Missed me. She missed me.
"I missed you, too, sweetheart," I breathed, feeling a new urgency trigger me, and I kissed her. I kissed her hard, and mumbled between kisses. "Missed you so fucking much, Bella. You have no idea."
"Oh, God, Edward," she cried out, and I felt her.
As her head lolled back, she constricted fiercely around me and moaned out my name over and over as the orgasm assaulted her body, and just as I felt her relax, I dipped down and captured her nipple between my teeth, and she surprised me when she gasped loudly, tensing all over. Again, then. Fuck, she's coming again.
I kept rubbing her clit as I thrust upwards, hitting her sweet spot, and then… I couldn't hold it any longer. She was just so fucking tight around me, pulsing, throbbing… squeezing me… so, with a loud groan, I followed, coming hard inside of her, as I sucked on her nipple, loving everything about her. Her taste. Her touch. Her constricting. Her breathy moans.
"Fuck, Edward," she panted breathlessly, collapsing against my chest. "I think you killed me."
I chuckled, also spent and breathless, as I held her to me, dropping lazy kisses on her shoulder and neck.
We sat there in silence until the water started to get cold, and then we washed each other, making me realize one thing.
Our time is definitely coming to an end, and Bella – the twenty year old girl I've fallen in love with – may not want what I have to offer, but one thing is clear. She does feel something for me, and our 'break-up' will definitely be hard for her as well. That much was evident in the way she looked at me, the way she kissed me… the way she soundlessly followed me to my bedroom… the way she fell asleep in my arms… the way she sighed my name in her sleep.
She has feelings for me.
Dare I hope?
No. She has her life ahead of her, which makes me sound old, and I'm not, but I have everything settled. I live in the apartment I love, I have my Emma, I have my dream job. I have what I want and need when it comes to everything besides her. But again, remembering back to when I was twenty, I didn't want what I have today. I didn't want this.
She can't either. And if she's harboring some crush on me, I'm sure she'll get over it once she realizes that there are so much out there for her. Travelling, experiencing new things…

*O*O*O*

When I woke up the next morning, there was no Bella in my bed, but there was a note.

You said you express yourself through music.

I'm the same when it comes to dancing.

Remember that.

And, we have to talk after the show.

~Bella.

I had a feeling it would be a long day. An awful day.
I'm scared shitless that tonight is the night she'll end it.